Common Stages Of A Young Affluent White Person’s First Year In New York City


  • You buy your first hammer to put together a shelf for your Blu-rays.
  • You are impressed with the ethnic cuisine that was delivered to your start-up for lunch.
  • You make a joke on social media about how your life resembles one of the following fictional characters: Carrie Bradshaw, Jamie Conway, Hannah Horvath, Andy Sachs, Holden Caulfield, Millie Dillmount, Sal Paradise, Ruth Sherwood, Eileen Sherwood, Nick Carraway, Holly Golightly, all of the above.
  • A person who has lived in New York City exactly three months longer than you condescends to you about all the big city offer and how much learning is in store for you.
  • Heavy sighs produced from the current WiFi availability situations increase 400%.
  • A person you hate gets on a house team at an improv theatre.
  • You discuss Serial in an attempt to bond with a new co-worker.
  • You give money to a homeless person singing on the subway and post on social media about how it contributed to your “perfect day exploring!!!!”
  • You pretend that college was far more meaningful an experience for you than it was.
  • You carefully conclude that it will be a good idea to wear a shirt that has a classic book cover image on it.
  • You make a joke about how you hate Times Square even though being there secretly fills you with raw childhood glee.
  • You write about it.

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