New Nobel Peace Prize Categories

That I deserve to win.

Giving Guys The Out On Cancelling Plans

Enjoying Guy’s American Kitchen And Not Being Ironic About It

Uncrossing My Legs On The Subway When My Foot Is In People’s Way

Fake Laughing At Harmless Yet Impossibly Stupid Bros Quoting Parks & Recreation

Not Screaming At Rich People

Letting The Gchat Sit There For A While

Keeping Thought Pieces In My “Draft” Folder

“Liking” Your Embarrassing Headshot

Not Mentioning The Mutual Friends’ Hookup Even Though It’s All Anybody Can Think About

Nodding And Smiling At Old Racist People Who Mean Well

Not Burning Down The Laundromat At Sunday At 1PM

Remaining In Contact With You Even Though You Once Used The Word “Flippant” In Earnest

Not Blowing Guys When They’re Vulnerable To Make Them Confused About Our Friendship

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