Sir, with all do respect, you really should rethink your decision to not give me this job. I’d be a great administrative assistant for your real estate company. I’m professional on the phone, I can work with Excel, and I’m on Smash Mouth’s street team.
It’s a really demanding position. I’m not just on the street team. I’m an active member and have been for almost twelve years now. I’m in charge of organizing the general Broward County area Mouth Heads. You’re probably wondering why we don’t call ourselves All Stars. Mouth Heads was just one of my many initiatives with the nationwide street team. All Stars is SO obvious. We’re smarter than that.
This position requires me to make posters, organize group lunches every other Thursday at P.F. Chang’s, and run the notoriously rowdy Broward County section of the message boards. People skills are vital to administrative assistance, and I believe that my experience with online forum management has given me just that and so much more. Whether it is approving who can and cannot be included in the secret, password-only section of the board called “The REAL Astro Lounge” or deleting hundreds of pages of porn, I have grown and learned a lot from this demanding side of my job.
Your office is really bare. Do you want a 2000 tour poster? I have a stack in my trunk.
No, I don’t get paid. Street teaming is more than just a “volunteer activity” or “an embarrassment”, as all 2 of my exes call it. It’s a life choice. You’re either in or you’re out. And I, sir, am most definitely in. Just ask Steve Harwell. He signed one of my sneakers once. Look!
Oh. If you do give me the job, first request is that I can wear sneakers in the office. Please?