Hey guys. We’re all here, hanging out, at a party. People are laughing and dancing and drinking and oh – I see that your computer is open. Your Dell is playing your iTunes “PartyMIX” playlist and people are really excited about “Rock Lobster”, which will be over in two minutes. I know what to do.
Clearly this place needs my help. Yes, Shannon’s doing shots and people are loving her recitation of lines from “Stepbrothers”. Yes, Ed is talking about his study abroad trip to Tel Aviv and how magical it was. But seriously. They’re not actually having fun. Not yet, at least.
I’ll bring a few people over to your laptop. Just a few to start out, and the rest will flock over. Inevitably. “Guys, you need to see this!”
And the night has officially begun.
“You haven’t seen the one of Conan O’Brien being interviewed by Charlie Rose from 1993 right when Late Night was starting? IT’S AMAZING! So inspiring. For real.”
“Wait. You haven’t seen THE GOON panel from Comic Con a few years ago? Guys. This is so funny. Just watch. I won’t spoil anything for you. Shhhh, guys, we’re watching something.”
“NO BRANDON! WE ARE NOT WATCHING YOUR HOME MOVIE YOU UPLOADED FROM YOUR CRUISE TO ALASKA! MOVE!”
“I can’t take how good this math joke song is. Ahhh you guys isn’t this the best?!”
And the night is saved. No one was having fun until I came along. Sorry, I closed your iTunes window so the videos would buffer faster. I guess everybody went home early because they were tired. People do have work tomorrow. Yeah, that’s it. Work makes people have to leave early and stuff.